Our last week...

I am not sure how to even write this post.  As I begin to search for the words, I am filled with tears.  This is my last week with ET before he leaves for school.  Jay and I both are a ball of emotions right now, and so I feel the need to just write from the heart.

First, what an amazing gift we have been given.  ET is truly a remarkable child!  There is no other gift in the world that can even remotely compare to the gift of being his Mother.  I can remember bringing ET home from the hospital and feeling very overwhelmed.  I had taken care of children for years prior to becoming a mom, but ultimately the true responsibilities lied on the decisions of the parents.  Now I was the parent!  I can remember asking my sister, "What if I screw up?"  She reassured me that as time moved on, I would grow more confidence.  She was right, but I still sometimes feel like I have no idea what I am doing.  It has been said many times by many parents, "I wish they came with instruction manuals!"  We all know that what works for one child does not always work the same for another and figuring out your child is half the challenge.  It seams that with every new situation it becomes a trial and error process, and by the end of it all we will be old and gray, but we will have thoroughly enjoyed the ride!  I find it so ironic that my oldest sister is sending her oldest son off to college the same year that I am sending my oldest son off to Kindergarten.  What great talks we have had in regards to this!  She has helped me to see just how fast time flies, and I have helped her remember time well spent!

I was given the gift to be able to stay at home with ET for the first five years of his life, and it was my "job" in every sense of the word to make the most of it.  I can so clearly remember when ET reached six weeks old, and imagining what it would be like to have to hand him off to someone else while I worked away from him.  I cried just thinking about it, and very often I would pray with thanks to God for the opportunity to be with him everyday.  I got to be there when he took his first steps, and when he spoke his first words.  I got to change every diaper, feed every meal, and kiss every owie.  I got to see see him through every situation he has encountered.  I watched him make new friends, and I was able to be there to coach him through conflicts, and to teach him how to express his frustrations.  I can say confidently that I used the most of our time together, and prepared daily activities that are the very root of his education.  I got to teach him his colors, numbers, letters, how to use a pair of scissors, how to write, and how to read.  I got see him struggle and succeed!  I got to be the one to give him a hug and a kiss when he fell down, and give him a pat on the back when he achieved a goal.  I got to turn to him at any time in the day and say, "You matter to me!"  There is truly no better feeling than to be able to turn to your child and hug him at any time during the day.  What a blessing! 

Although times have proven to be difficult, I can say with ease that I have never taken a moment for granted.  I thank God every day for the health and happiness of my children.  Becoming a parent  has filled me with such extreme emotions.  Any parent can attest that being a parent provides experiences that we could never have anticipated.  ET has managed to make me laugh until it hurts, and make me angry enough to cry.  I love him so deeply I can feel it emotionally and physically.

Our time together has made so many lasting memories that I will cherish for a lifetime.  Don't get me wrong though, it hasn't been all perfect.  Matter of fact, ET has managed to make this week very VERY difficult for me.  Maybe it is God's way of making it easier for me to send him off to school - who knows!  However, I do believe I have created an environment for him where he has felt safe enough to test his boundaries, and explore his surroundings, and through it all he still continues to learn without a shadow of a doubt that my love is unconditional! 

Our biggest wish for ET as he heads off to school is that he continues to show that he is a caring, understanding and compassionate person.  We don't expect him to be friends with everyone, but we wish for him to show kindness and to be tolerant of all of our differences.   Our second wish is for ET is to trust in God.  We wish that he will constantly be reminded through us and the people that surround us that "With Him we can do all things", and that God has a plan for all of us!  Our third wish is an obvious one.  We wish for ET to make good choices!  I sound like a broken record when it comes to this one.  As ET gets older I will wish for him to make the wise choice by not playing with temptation.  In other words, I will ask that he stay away from all slippery slopes in life, so that the really tough choices can be avoided.

I know the time has come for him to move on.  We know that ET is going to do great in school.  I have done my job, and I believe I have done my job to the best of my abilities.  He is caring, smart, strong, brave, and outgoing - a perfect combination for success! As each day closes, and we grow nearer to a new stage in life, I pray so deeply that God is with us.  I pray for patience and wisdom, and for God's mercy on all the rest!

Please join me in praying for ET these next two weeks!  I take rest in the power of our prayers!
Thank you!